1.25 General Average!

i just had my grades today. I got 1.25 as my total average for this semester i never had a grade below 1.75 this semester. I got two one flats in two subjects. Most are around 1.25. I had a long jump form last semester's general average which is around 2.17 and now i got 1.25.

Its fun to see the skeptics watching my progress, but i didnt strive to prove them that thyre all wrong. In fact the number one skeptic was myself and there are alot more. They always thought that id be insecure for not having much, for going to a university with a not so good environment, for not taking a course that has a sure shot destination.

I really jumped in this course forgetting about job, money and all that stuff all i know is that this is really what i wanna do!

i was about to cry after seeing my card this morning. I had a short recall on what others told me about my school and about my course, even my relatives laughed at me. To them it was like i was preparing myself to living a life thats bound for hunger.

I viewed these skeptics as encouragements to me without them, i wouldnt be the woman i am now. Well i dont have much to brag about to tell you the truth, especially with myself and with who i am, ive got nothing but faith in my pockets, each day i go to school.
Going back, their pessimistic views added spice to my interest it gave me more reasons to love the challenge. The truth is, i can take up any course i want, with the skills i have, i can pursue medicine,mass communication, education (sped) or law or other courses that typical achievers take. But hey who says fine arts cant be "high fliers" (laughs).

i fell for fine arts so much that i would whole heartedly forget about eating lunch and spend my allowance for a canvass for the next major subject. I used to keep a stored value card so that just incase i lose my money i could still go home. I walk from Morayta to Recto LRT station and when i get to the station nearest to my place i walk from that place to my house in high heels i go home with a grumbling stomach and aching feet but all i can think about is that its all worth it. But of course this doesnt happen everyday! (laughs).

i strive not because im a grade conscious person, i strive because i want to reassure my parents that their hardships are not in vain, im not wasting their money and i chose a school that doesnt cause too much well compared to other universities mine is really a mid class. I even checked the process and rates of the payment before i decided to go to feu its even a bonus that its only increase is 3 percent annually. I just made sure that my parents wont be pressured of paying 20k as down payment in fact we only pay 8,500 as down payment, stuff like that.

I can hardly remember when my sister goes to Ateneo and i study at School of St. Anthony which actually caused much too. Imagine we eat one kind of meal for the whole month. We experienced having tocino for the whole month.

breakfast
lunch
dinner

= tocino, next month well have daing,next month diningding only would malunggay in it stuff like that.

My parents are getting old and their body would most certainly require something healthy so i guess my mid class tuition fee would give them better opportunities to buy the food they need. i wouldnt want them to sacrifice even that only for my tuition fee. Plus we have to pay for the rent of our place which caused 13,500 every month its easy if we had much money but thats not the way things are we really survive through faith each day, each month, every year.

so these are just a few reasons why i chose to enter my university. Its really about my mom and dad and not myself. i wanna make them proud for having me, i wanna make them feel lucky in a way. I wanna prove myself that im not useless and that i can make people happy through my small actions. Despite my unethical behavior and problematic personality.

This is all i can do to make up for breaking their hearts too many times.
my 1.25 is actually a "thank you for believing in me while others don't" note to my parents.

My imagination can never fathom what God really is doing, He saw every single thing ive been through, all i know is that ive been witnessing God's unconditional love since i decided to just let go of my excess baggage to Him. and now He kept doing great things to me.

I still have hope!! People like me still have hope!!! Its the best thing ive ever discovered today!!!