An Imaginary Friend

still weeping after watching all twelve episodes of the big bang's second season. planning to run away but I have no idea where to go. Im still alone. At home.


suddenly i remembered my childhood days. I used to have two imaginary friends when i was three i named them cor and lepp. Where i got the name? i dunno I've been crazy since i was a baby. I never had much playmate. I walk around our small place and the people in the household kept hearing me calling Lepp and Cor to take good care of my doll named Emily as inspired by the old series entitled "Princess Sarah"

I play with Lepp and Cor with my doll Emily everyday. I play two roles in that game. Since Im alone i can pick whatever role i want. In reality theres the four of us Me, Cor, Lepp and Emily at the same time I feel like I am the doll being taken good care of by Me, Cor and Lepp

i grew up not having much friends, theyre more of acquaintances not friends not all but most of them and until now i know that imaginative 3 year old kid remains in me. the only difference is that i dont have imaginary friends anymore.

Anyway theyre always imaginary so i can imagine them anytime i want, I can imagine cor and lepp taller than me now. Im just 5 flat and i can hear them laughing at me because i used to be taller than them when we were kids. We even invented our own language and pretended that we understood each other. Of course were kids.

I realized Ive been creating my own world for myself. It serves as an escape to the pressures of reality. A world i provided myself since childhood even before Neil Gaiman's books reached me.

I miss being a kid, being taken good care of. i could be as angry as i can be even after the sun sets but it wouldnt change the fact that i live in a sick sad world.

Id be a wandering little girl forever.